Non Verbal Advantage Pdf
The workplace is a “blink” world: studies show that we form opinions of one another within seven seconds of meeting and that 93 percent of the messages people receive from us have nothing to do with what we actually say. So the ability to recognize and develop good nonverbal communication skills can be a huge professional advantage.Carol Kinsey Goman combines the latest research and her twenty-five years of practical experience as a consultant, coach, and therapist in this fun and practical guide to understanding what you and the people you work with are saying without speaking. Cartoons, photos, entertaining anecdotes, and dozens of simple and enlightening exercises help readers gain control of the messages their bodies are sending so they can project a more accurate and compelling picture of who they really are to their colleagues, clients, and partners.
The workplace is a “blink” world: studies show that we form opinions of one another within seven seconds of meeting and that 93 percent of the messages people receive from us have nothing to do with what we actually say. So the ability to recognize and develop good nonverbal communication skills can be a huge professional advantage.Carol Kinsey Goman combines the latest research and her twenty-five years of practical experience as a consultant, coach, and therapist in this fun and practical guide to understanding what you and the people you work with are saying without speaking. Cartoons, photos, entertaining anecdotes, and dozens of simple and enlightening exercises help readers gain control of the messages their bodies are sending so they can project a more accurate and compelling picture of who they really are to their colleagues, clients, and partners.
“Given today's technology-driven communication systems, people have fewer face-to-face interactions. As a result, it is crucial to maximize their impact. Goman provides a valuable guide for doing just that by helping the reader understand how the nonverbal aspects of a conversation often say much more than the verbal ones.”Jon Peters, President, The Institute for Management Studies“The Nonverbal Advantage takes a fresh look at body language as an essential executive management skill. This is a must-read for anyone who is responsible for negotiating or facilitating change in their professional association.”Alan Sauer, CAE, IOM, Fellow, American Society of Association Executives, and former Chair of the Board of Trustees, U.S. Chamber of Commerce Institute for Organization Management“This book happens to hit on one of my hot buttons. I have made numerous speeches on communication, which I consider the common denominator of success or failure. Invariably, people do not reflect on body language as a means of communication until you bring it to their attention.
The Nonverbal Advantage should be a great success!”Charles A. Lynch, Chair, Market Value Partners Company“Face-to-face communication takes on a new meaning in this much-needed and detailed treatise on nonverbal communication. Understanding how humans give silent clues—with eyes, hands, posture, and even feet—helps us become better speakers and better listeners.Wilma Mathews, ABC, IABC Fellow, Faculty Associate, Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication, and Communication Consultant“Carol Kinsey Goman shows you how to use body language skills to build stronger professional relationships. The Nonverbal Advantage is a must-read for anyone wanting to move ahead and stand out from the crowd.”Robert L. Dilenschneider, Founder and Principal, The Dilenschneider Group, and author of Power and Influence: The Rules Have Changed“In my global business dealings, I've seen negotiations fall apart when people gave the wrong signals and didn't respect cultural differences. The Nonverbal Advantage should be required reading for anyone in sales or negotiations—especially if they work internationally.”Kimberly Benson, Vice President, Cange International, Inc.“In a brave new world brimming with discovery and invention, we must remember to update our existing human-insights skill set. Now is the time to renew your toolbox by including knowledge of the nonverbal cues that will take center stage in business and in life.
Carol Kinsey Goman's book is a timely read indeed.”Watts Wacker, futurist and coauthor of What's Your Story? Storytelling to Move Markets, Audiences, People, and Brands“The Nonverbal Advantage is a fresh look at employee communication management and the more subtle, but nevertheless important, cues of body language. Goman's analysis of interpersonal communication techniques, signals, and behaviors suggests that nonverbal signals are more important in understanding human behavior than words alone— the nonverbal ‘channels' seem to be more powerful than what people say.
She is pointing the way for managers at all levels.”Deborah Radman, APR, Fellow PRSA, Senior Vice President/Director, CKPR“In the second half of my thirty-three-year career in law enforcement, my interview ability and success took a definite upswing after taking training that addressed not only verbal deception but also nonverbal behavior. Carol's book takes many of the things I learned about body language and puts them in a form that any manager or business professional can use.”Robert Baker, retired San Diego County District Attorney Investigator and San Diego County Sheriff Detective. The Nonverbal Advantage CHAPTER 1The Five C’s of Body LanguageB ODY LANGUAGE IS LIKE A COMPUTER. We all know what it is, but most of us are never exactly sure how it works. That’s because the process of receiving and decoding nonverbal communication is often done without our conscious awareness. It simply happens.
Human beings are genetically programmed to look for facial and behavioral cues and to quickly understand their meaning. We see someone gesture and automatically make a judgment about the intention of that gesture.And we’ve been doing this for a long, long time. As a species we knew how to win friends and influence people—or avoid/placate/confront those we couldn’t befriend—long before we knew how to use words. Our ancestors made survival decisions based solely on intricate bits of visual information they were picking up from others. And they did so quickly.
In our prehistory, rapidly deciding if a situation or person was dangerous was often a matter of life or death.There is a world of information you can learn about people simply by observing how they use their bodies to send nonverbal cues. But to accurately decode those signals, you need to interrupt your automatic judgment system and analyze your impressions. To uncover its true meaning, body language needs to be understood in context, viewed in clusters, evaluated for congruence with what is being said, assessed for consistency, and filtered for cultural influences. This chapter shows you how to do that.
Filtering Your First Impressions: The Five C ’sNonverbal signals play a key role in helping us form quick impressions. Our ability to do so is one of our basic survival instincts.
But, as innate as this ability may be, not all our first impressions are accurate. Although our brains are hardwired to respond instantly to certain nonverbal cues, that circuitry was put in place a long time ago—when our ancient ancestors faced threats and challenges that were very different from those we face in today’s modern society. Life is more complex today, with layers of social restrictions and nuanced meanings adding to the intricacies of our interpersonal dealings. This is especially true in workplace settings, where corporate culture adds its own complexities—a unique set of restrictions and guidelines for behavior.Although first impressions may not always be accurate, you can improve your ability to read someone’s body language by filtering your impressions through the five C’s: context, clusters, congruence, consistency, and culture. ContextImagine this scene: It’s a freezing-cold winter evening with a light snow falling and a north wind blowing.
You see a woman—you realize it’s a co-worker—sitting on a bench at a bus stop. Her head is down, her eyes are tightly closed, and she’s hunched over, shivering slightly and hugging herself.Now the scene changes: It’s the same woman in the same physical position. But instead of sitting outdoors on a bench, she’s seated behind her desk in the office next to yours. Her body language is identical: head down, eyes closed, hunched over, shivering, and hugging herself.
The nonverbal signals are the same, but the new setting has altered your perception of those signals. In a flash she’s gone from telling you, “I’m really cold!” to saying, “I’m in distress.”The meaning of nonverbal communication changes as the context changes. Just like in real estate, location matters. We can’t begin to understand someone’s behavior without considering the circumstances under which the behavior occurred. As illustrated by our example, the message sent by that woman’s body language changed dramatically depending on whether she was sitting outside in the cold or alone in her office.
And some situations require more-formal behaviors that might be interpreted very differently in any other setting.When people are interacting, their relationship determines much of the context. The same man talking with a client, his boss, or a subordinate may display very different body language with each. Time of day, expectations based on past encounters, and whether the interaction is taking place in a private or public setting—all these variables form the context in which body language occurs, and they need to be taken into consideration when you evaluate meaning. The key is to judge if the nonverbal behaviors are appropriate to the context in which they occur.For example, Dave and Diane had been friends and colleagues for years. As such they stood close to each other, maintained strong eye contact, touched one another on the arm, and smiled often during their workplace conversations.
No one thought to comment on this until Diane announced her engagement to another employee in the same company. Armed with that information, the next time a co-worker saw Dave and Diane smiling and enjoying each other’s company, he said, “Careful now, she’s engaged!”The relationship context had suddenly changed. Apparently, nonverbal behavior that was deemed appropriate for Dave when Diane was “single,” was now viewed as a potential problem.TRY THISChoose one nonverbal behavior (say, touching a colleague on the arm) and list all the conditions under which the behavior would be acceptable in your company or organization.
Now list all the contextual changes that might make this gesture inappropriate. Ask yourself how changing the physical location (in a private office, in a meeting room with several colleagues, on-stage when being presented an award, or in the hallway when involved in casual conversation) could alter the meaning of the gesture. How could the status of the individuals involved or the quality of their relationship change the nonverbal message being sent?ClustersNonverbal cues occur in a gesture cluster—a group of movements, postures, and actions that reinforce a common point. A single gesture can have several meanings or mean nothing at all (sometimes a cigar is just a cigar), but when you couple that single gesture with other nonverbal signals, the meaning becomes clearer. A person may cross her arms for any number of reasons, but when the gesture is coupled with a scowl, a headshake, and legs turned away from you, you have a composite picture and reinforcement to conclude that she is resistant to whatever you just proposed.Always remember to look for clusters of behaviors. A person’s overall demeanor is far more telling than a single gesture viewed independently.A savvy manager I know begins every staff meeting by taking off his jacket, and he chooses a chair at the center of the conference table (not at the head).
Those behaviors alone would send a message of informality, but it’s the rest of his gestures that drive the point home. Whenever anyone in the meeting speaks, the manager leans forward with an expression of interest on his face, nods approvingly, and gives the speaker full eye contact. This cluster of gestures symbolically sets the stage for exactly what he wants the meeting to be—a rank-free exchange of ideas and questions.TRY THISCount to three. That is, refrain from assuming that any single gesture has a particular meaning until you see two corroborating gestures that reinforce that same meaning.CongruenceA classic study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian at the University of California at Los Angeles found that the total impact of a message is based on 7 percent words used, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent facial expressions, hand gestures, body position, and other forms of nonverbal communication.Obviously, you can’t watch a person speaking in a foreign language and understand 93 percent of what is being communicated. (Mehrabian was studying only the communication of feelings—particularly the feelings of like and dislike.) Still, you can bet that when the verbal and nonverbal channels of communication are out of sync, people—especially women—tend to rely on the nonverbal message and disregard the verbal content.When thoughts and words are in tune (that is, when people believe what they are saying), you see it corroborated in their body language. Their gestures and expressions are in alignment with what is being said.You also see incongruence, where gestures contradict words: a side-to-side headshake while saying yes or someone frowning and staring at the ground while telling you she is happy.
Incongruence is a sign not so much of intentional deceit but of inner conflict between what someone is thinking and what he or she is saying.I noticed this conflict in Sheila, a manager I was coaching. Sheila appeared calm and reasonable as she listed the reasons why she should delegate more responsibility to her staff. But every time she expressed these opinions, she also (almost imperceptibly) shuddered. While Sheila’s words declared her intention of empowering her employees, the quick, involuntary shudder was saying loud and clear, “I don’t want to do this!”TRY THISHere’s an exercise that I suggest practicing outside of your workplace: Whenever someone asks you a question that can be answered with a simple yes or no (for example, “Would you like fries with that?”), answer in the affirmative while subtly shaking your head from side to side. Then watch how others react to the incongruence in your response.ConsistencyYou need to know a person’s baseline behavior under relaxed or generally stress-free conditions so that you can compare it with the expressions and the gestures that appear when that person is under stress.
What is his normal way of looking around, of sitting, of standing when relaxed? How does he respond when discussing some nonthreatening topic? Knowing someone’s behavioral baseline enhances your ability to spot meaningful deviations.One of the strategies that experienced police interrogators use for spotting dishonesty is to ask a series of nonthreatening questions while observing how the subject behaves when there is no reason to lie.
Then, when the more difficult issues get addressed, the officers watch for changes in nonverbal behavior that indicate deception around key points.TRY THISThe best way to understand someone’s baseline behavior is to observe him over an extended period of time. So, when you interact with your business colleagues, begin to notice— really notice—how they look when they are relaxed and comfortable. How much eye contact do they make?
What kind of gestures do they use? What body postures do they assume?Then, once you know what is normal for your co-workers, you will be able to quickly and accurately detect even minor shifts when their body language behavior is out of character.We all run into problems trying to evaluate the consistency of someone we’ve just met. The following is an example of something that happened to me a few years ago.I was giving a presentation to the chief executive officer (CEO) of a financial services company, outlining a speech I was scheduled to deliver to his leadership team the next day. And it wasn’t going well.
Our meeting lasted almost an hour, and through that entire time the CEO sat at the conference table with his arms tightly crossed. He didn’t once smile or nod in encouragement. When I finished, he said, “Thank you” (without making eye contact) and left the room.As I’m a body language expert, I was sure that his nonverbal communication was telling me that my speaking engagement would be canceled.
But when I walked to the elevator, the CEO’s assistant came up to me to tell me how impressed her boss had been with my presentation. I was shocked and asked how he would have reacted had he not liked it.
“Oh,” said the assistant, her smile acknowledging that she had previously seen that reaction as well. “He would have gotten up in the middle of your presentation and walked out!”The only nonverbal signals that I had received from that CEO were ones I judged to be negative. What I didn’t realize was that, for this individual, that was normal behavior. CultureAll nonverbal communication is influenced by our cultural heritage, which is discussed at length in. For now it’s important to understand that when reading body language you should consider the amount of stress the person is under.
That’s because the higher the emotional level, the more likely it is that culture-specific gestures will show up.In addition, body language is affected by the many subcultures of which we’re a part. Take posture, for example. Ballet dancers are trained to hold their bodies chest-forward, so you’ll often see them standing like this with their heels together and toes pointed out (a modified first position). Many office workers are round-shouldered with a slight slump in the chest from hours spent hunched over their keyboards. Military personnel often carry a shoulders-back, spine-straight stance long after their tour of duty has concluded.People from different regions of the same country may also use their bodies very differently. Take, for example, the fast-paced stride of a typical New Yorker and contrast it with the more leisurely gait of someone from the South. Or think of the potential body language differences between a prototypically reserved and formal New Englander and his more casual California counterpart.The more you know about a person’s background, hobbies, and interests, the more you can understand why certain gestures or postures are part of her unique repertoire—and why deviation from these patterns is significant.
Sometimes people shift postures as they shift subjects. In my therapy practice, I would often see patients assume one posture when talking about their mother and a completely different posture when discussing their father.TRY THISChoose one business colleague and make a list of everything you know about her background, including her ethnic heritage, where she was born and raised, her hobbies, her family, and the sports or physical activities she enjoys. Once you have a full list, start observing your co-worker to see if you can spot the nonverbal cues that are a result of some part of her background.Keep in mind the five C’s—context, clusters, congruence, consistency, and culture—as you go through the rest of this book. There is no doubt that people use nonverbal communication to reveal their state of mind. But reading body language isn’t just about learning nonverbal signals; it is also about understanding how to get to the real meaning behind those signals.
Importance of Communication: For instruction:It provides a mean to command other individuals to perform certain duties. It is through communication that the person is able to deliver exact instruction to perform a specific job and thereby gaining a certain amount of control over the actions of the subordinates and juniors For integration:Communication provides a way to put together different individuals under one group. It helps to build a robust and can aid in making an understanding between different individuals to express their ideas and thoughts to others.
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For information:Without the presence of any means of communication, it will be very difficult to express the exact information of others. With, you will be able to complete its task on time and gain success in the future. Conveying correct and accurate information is not only important for the person concerned but is also vital for the organization as a whole.
For influencing:Communication provides a way to persuade people to your way of thinking. It is because of the presence of a common means of communication that the people are able to tactically convey their message to influence and persuade people to think along their line of thinking. This can be a useful asset for managers. For direction:Communication provides a mean for higher authorities to give direction to the organization and provides directive to the juniors to act in accordance with the vision and aim of the organization. In short, followers follow the leader because of their effective means of communicating their idea to the audience. Types of Communication:Broadly communication can be classified into two types: Verbal communication:When the communication is done with the help of letters or symbols that carry specific meaning to the receiver then we say that the communication is in verbal form. The main advantage of one to one communication is that it is permanent and easy to understand.When the information is conveyed through speaking i.e.
By voice then the form of communication is called oral communication.It provides a means of quick feedback and chance of clearing your doubt immediately. If the communication is done through written format then it is called written communication. Both are the subcategories of verbal communications:When the communication is in the form of signs, symbols or gestures which do not use any structured form of abstract letters or sounds to convey information, then we call it as non-verbal communication. Examples of Verbal Communication:.
Verbal communication can be anything that is represented through words or any communicating medium. It can be of two types- oral and written broadly. Oral communication includes something like speaking, singing or answering and questioning. There are also some benefits of and the limitations of oral communication. Written communication includes exams, written interviews or translation or something that requires writing as a medium to communicate. Some special people who are unable to communicate orally opt for written ones.Advantages of Verbal Communication Skill: It saves time:You can give direct orders to your subordinates.
Get instructions on a matter within a few minutes. Convey your message at a rapid speed. The verbal form of communication gives you this facility to quickly send intended message thus saving you time. Also, you won’t need to grope for sign languages. Just write or say it and you will understand within a fraction of a second. It saves you money:If most of the information is considered to be verbal then you won’t be wasting energy and money on explaining things differently. All you need is a medium to speak or write and your work would be done.
Also, fewer chances of getting misinterpreted as everyone receiving the instructions are able to understand the common language between you. Feedback quickness:The distinct advantage of verbal communication is in the fact that the receiver can ask and clarifies his doubt on the spot without any delay. The sender can get quick feedback as to whether his intended message is received in its intended form or not and can clarify the receiver, in the case of any doubt. Additionally, the difficulty is removed in communication. Most convenient method:Yes, verbal communication is the most widely adopted means of communication globally. People prefer more of verbal communication due to the convenience factor dominating over other types of communication.
While communicating verbally, you are more likely to convey matter simply in plain readable text and understandable language which is widely preferred. Persuasion in the act:Managers can use it to their advantage to make their point more powerful and persuasive. In combination with non-verbal language, a person can peruse the other on any matter. Ease of preparation:Oral communication is the easiest way of communication as it does not have any need for material to convey the message. Therefore casual conversations are usually easy to conduct. Maintain secrecy:It can be very useful in case you want to maintain secrecy about a matter as there is no way to prove what you said.
Private conversations can be easily conducted through one to one discussions and privacy is well maintained if proper instructions regarding this matter are provided to concerned individuals. Clarity of message:If the message provided is in written format, the receiver can re-read the contents and clarify any doubt on the later moment. Therefore sometimes written format can have an extra edge over oral one in this matter. Legality of the content:As the documents can be reproduced, the written format has legal importance. Many people prefer to communicate in the written or oral format in case of important discussion.
These conversations can be stored or recorded for future use as evidence to some crime or as legal documents which can be of very much important in many things. Disadvantages of Verbal Communication: Chances of distortion of meaning:Due to the presence of various barriers in effective communication, it happens that the intended meaning of the message changes for the intended person which causes a lot of problems in the future.There are some instructions provided. If the instructions are not conveyed properly it may cause its meaning to change and therefore the other person might do the opposite of what you expect, therefore clarity in giving the instructions should be maintained. Not convenient for long messages:It is not at all convenient to convey long messages orally as it may happen that by the time message is completed, the receiver may forget the previously spoken important points leading to a chance of ineffective communication. As a result, the written format can be used which is also a problem since many people don’t like writing too much or communicate too much through messages or written format. Irrelevant information:While having an important discussion, a lot of irrelevant information can creep in during a conversation leading to a waste of time and gap in the relevant information. This leads to unnecessary time waste and sometimes omitting or forgetting to converse on what is really important.
Therefore it is always necessary to keep your communication process clear of any unwanted discussion that may lead to wastage of your precious time and energy. Create a misunderstanding:Usually, when two individuals are having deep conversations, they can have some misunderstandings during the time. Sometimes subtle hints given or some words spoken with some intention get misinterpreted and a whole new different meaning comes out of it. Thus it becomes crucial to know that what you have spoken or written has a crystal clear meaning with no indirect hints that could make a conversation difficult. Communication cost:Sometimes verbal communication can be really expensive if you need to communicate in a language that you are not familiar with.
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You will need another person to play the part for you. Also, paper works and other mediums require expenses to be fulfilled for this communication purpose.
Too many ways of communicating:There are thousands of languages used all over the world for the purpose of communication. And it is not possible for one person to know all of them.
So intercultural communications become a headache as you will need a third party to understand and communicate. Therefore verbal communication is at a disadvantage at this point. No rectification:Sometimes fixing small mistakes becomes a headache while doing verbal communication. Errors, like typing errors or speaking out wrong thing whether you are in for some official or personal matter, can actually ruin your whole intention of communication. So while you are communicating verbally, it is very much necessary to do the correct speaking or writing to avoid unnecessary hostility.
Non Verbal Advantage Pdf Download
Maintenance cost:Many resources and money are spent in preserving records which includes speech recordings or records in a written format that result in additional financial loads. Time and proper maintenance is required to preserve and protect these records for additional use which sometimes can cost arms and legs to a particular person. Examples of Non-Verbal Communication:Non-verbal communication is the indirect means of communication which usually includes some gestures and sign languages. Some signs are understood beyond mere words.
There are signs and gestures that do tell us many things about a certain individual and what he/she is trying to communicate. Some of them are: Facial expressions:Include eye contacts, eye movements, eyebrow signs, lip movements or as a whole expression from the face can communicate widely. Hand movements:Also, your hand movements can convey many things like what do you think of the situation or what should you do. Waving gently is bidding goodbye, whereas waving vigorously can mean to attract attention to something.
Placement of your hand is also important. Placing them on your hips says differently than crossing them over your chest. Leg movements:Direct and indirect leg movements like shaking or twisting can also communicate different things. Sitting posture:This can tell a lot of things about the individual person. The way a person sits and carries himself/herself is very important. Touch:Different types of touches can mean different things like touching lightly can mean a casual call while grabbing and shaking can define urgency. Dance:Thousands of culture globally and each culture has its own dance form.
Dancing is an art of performing various movements using body parts to convey a story or message non-verbally. Dance forms can be both traditional and modern.Some classical dance forms give us messages about history through repetitions of movements. At the same time, modern dance can convey various social issues happening globally at present or give us a romantic appeal. Conclusion:Verbal communication is the most efficient way of communicating between two personnel or groups. The verbal communication provides you the mean to handle the everyday task with ease and helps in getting a quick result as the feedback is quick and the message conveyed in verbal format is quick and direct to the point.
Verbal communication forms a great chunk of our daily communication.Therefore, it is very important for a person to be capable of producing good verbal skills that should be flawless in this medium of communication.Save.